My wife cannot satisfy me is she the wrong woman for me

My wife cannot any longer satisfy me in bed. We used to have a really good sex life before the kids came along, but for some reason, we have never been able to recapture that at all. It is even like my wife’s post pregnancy body turns me off, and I miss the younger version of her. I cannot say that I am repulsed by her, but she certainly does not turn me on anymore.
I would like to say that I could make myself feel better about my wife, but I cannot. It is really disappointing for me, but I somehow fell it is my fault. To get myself excited, I need to watch porn movies or read adult literature with the girls from Isle Dogs escorts from really, I suppose I should be trying to get some help, but there is a small part of me who doesn’t want to be bothered.
Darling, you do not turn me on any more
I am not sure how I am going to tackle this problem, but the truth is that my wife does not turn me on anymore. We have been married for almost 20 years, and in my opinion, my wife has let herself go. She would probably not agree with me, and blame it all on the kids, but I think that she is less interested in me, and prefers to spend time with the kids. In a way, I feel very much pushed aside, and no matter what my wife does in bed, she just does not satisfy me anymore.
It is strand that I feel this way because my friends keep telling me that they think that my wife is really attractive still. If, I take a step back, it is easy to tell that she is still more attractive than other women around me, it is just that she doesn’t do it for me anymore. I feel really awful saying that. As a result of all of this, I have had several affairs, and I must admit that it would be very easy to leave my wife. The main problem for me is that I would lose my home.
Also, I suppose that I would lose touch with my kids as well, but I am not sure that I am bothered about that so much. I was an only child in a rather dysfunctional family, and no one really seemed to have cared about me. My wife says that I am not the most caring father in the world, and she says that I should engage myself with the kids a bit more. To me, it just feels that our family life is a no go domain, and the kids is something that belong to her and not me.
Before we married, and before the kids, came along, I always seemed to be the center of attention. Now, I am sort of a backseat driver, and I found it really difficult| to relate to family life. All of the other fathers are really engaged in their kids, and going down to the pub on Friday night, is no longer a priority. Often I find myself hanging on the bar on my own, and chatting to some of the young girls from Isle Dogs escorts who frequent the pub. This is where I find my satisfaction these days.

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